I Mean It With Love...

So, by now some of you may realized that this isn't one of the ever so popular mommy blogs that are out there. Don't get me wrong, most of the blogs I read are mommy blogs (no idea why, other than these women are hilarious and fantastic and recognize the good in a glass of their favorite adult beverage of choice) Like I Like Beer And Babies, Pile Of Babies, Via Ukraine, Toulouse And Tonic, and Brittany, Herself. Anyway, that's mostly what I read. And no, it isn't some I NEED BABIES womanly hormone brain alteration, but reading these blogs does give me a blurry, but probably accurate view of how I might end up being as a mother.

I envision future children half dressed in pajamas and costumes, high on cheerios and apple juice and the thrill of creating a lego minefield in the living room; while I'm hiding somewhere with a book and a hard cider waiting for them to remember that we're playing "hide and seek" and it's their turn to "find" mommy.

Anyway, aside from the blogs, the other thing that has possibly given me the strongest view of my type of parenting is the owning of Felix...The Boyfriend's and my kitten.

So, here is a list of things that I do and say to Felix, that may carry over into future parenting.

1. Giving the little ones nicknames. For example I call Felix; Kitten, Felix Felicis (her actual name), Darling, Sweetness, Monstrosity, Sweet Satan, Darling Demon, Spawn of Satan, Terrible, ForTheLoveOfGodPleaseStop, I hate you.

2. Play Games, all sorts. We like to play: rope (playing with a piece of rope), basket (she likes a small plastic easter basket), jingle stick (wave the jingle stick), Sherriff (lock her in the bathroom, I mean jail), knock the pill bottles to the floor, chew on/through the electrical cords, try and get Fievel (the mouse), and knock things from the bathroom counter into the litter box.

3. Plan Outings. Because adventure is awesome. We plan trips like: Let's go to China Town they like cats there (for dinner), let's go back to the animal shelter and leave you there, let's go to the post office and mail you somewhere, and let's go have you exorcised by a priest.

4. Appropriate punishments for bad behavior. Sometimes she does misbehave, so I: threaten to tie her up with her rope, duct tape her to the floor/ceiling, break her legs, lock her away forever, take her back to the shelter, take her to a China Town buffet, and sell her to passing Gypsies.

5. Reward good behavior. Sometimes I remember to give her a treat...or use it as bribery to get her into the bathroom to be locked up (I mean, in time-out) until she stops being quite so demonic.

All in all, I do love having her and most of the time she is sweet and adorable. Thank god she's adorable, because that's the main reason that keeps her alive. For a 7 month old kitten, she is actually very gentle and fairly well behaved. She reminds me of this poem by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.

There was a little girl

-Longfellow

There was a little girl,

Who had a little curl,

Right in the middle of her forehead.

When she was good,

She was very good indeed,

But when she was bad she was horrid.

Since I don't foresee myself changing all that much from how I am as a pet owner to how I would be with small children...this is an acceptable style of parenting, right? I mean, I know Felix doesn't really understand English, so with future children, I might not say all of these things out loud...since they would be likely to be repeated. And last time I checked, cannibalism is frowned upon, so there are no back ally restaurants readily available. The future children will turn out okay, though, right? Right?

I'm sure the cuteness factor will help, it is definitely working for the kitten.