This is my dad's letter back to me. I can't think of anyone better to be my dad.
and now the letter from my dad.
Dear Elayna,
I tried to respond to your letter..i suck at the computer.
Tears filled my eyes as I read it, I remember the day too, it took so long to let go of the fear that you would hate me...I thought if I didn't tell you...you wouldn't think I cared about you..or to let you know and then to find out from someone else...anyway I see now that I have a beautiful compassionate daughter...I knew it before but more so now. These secrets we hide in out selves eat at us and cause us to question how "normal" we are. Leaving you was the saddest part of the divorce...who would I ride bike with? or spin in the "again" swing? Towards the end of your mom and my relationship was a lot of sadness, and through the gifts of counseling...depression and Zoloft., Moving back into the bedroom I had when I was 16, not seeing you was a very low part of my life, I ended up going to Toronto for an escape and met Ken, he's Canadian...eh? Both of us were needing something ....a change, we saved each other, when he met you and loved you as another ...dad...meant so much. You are my life...of my life.
Fear is a power that controls us and if we let it....years fly by and we don't tell the other person...or even ourselves what we need to. Elayna..you have courage...that's the absence of fear..sometimes I think we are so much alike...in hiding our feelings.thoughts and protecting our heart. I know I broke your heart when I had to leave...it broke mine too...when I see you...my eyes well up and overflow..when I run..I cry for you...for me...for the time lost...it means so much to me to have your acceptance in my life, you are brave....my spirit warrior. The world is a kinder place because you're in it.
I love you...Dad
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