Let Me Explain...

Blog: Where HAVE you been?

Me: ...pardon?

B: You heard me. Where. Have. You. Been? Last week. When you should have posted a blog. You remember last week, don't you?

M: Well yeah, things got busy, and friends were in town, and time-

B: Did you or did you not set out to upload at least one post a week?

M: Yeah, but...

B: And did you or did you not post last week?

M: Well, no, but I wanted to. It's just that Monday was groceries and cleaning; Tuesday was a migraine so I just went to bed after work; Wednesday and Thursday friends were in town with their 3.5 year old and 1.5 year old; Friday was falling asleep after work because I'm cool and party like that; Saturday was my crazy appointment which leaves me pretty much comatose afterwards; Sunday was another migraine because my brain loves me; and Monday was a barbecue at my friend's house... I'm sorry?"

B:...

M: What, now you're not talking to me?

M: I'm here now, aren't I? I'm sorry, but sometimes life gets in the way. It doesn't mean that I love you any less, it just means that I'm burning the candle entirely, forget that whole both ends thing. That sucker is engulfed in flames. I made a promise, (not in writing mind you, because then it's like a binding soul owning contract) to try my best to post at least weekly. Please, blog? I miss you, really. Come back?

M: Truce?

B: Are you bribing me?

M: Only if it works.

B: Fine. I forgive you. Now, I'll be over here with this ice cream. You wrap this up.

Wait for it...wait for it... Blog is gone. Now this page is under my complete control. (insert evil laugh of your choice) The power! Is mine! ...wait, wrist cuffs? Obligation? Expectation? Promises to self?

There's always a catch. Darn you, Blog, tricking me into this. Well, I'm never going to tell Blog that I actually enjoy this. Put that in your pipe and smoke it! (I've never actually understood that, now I need to go research where that phrase came from).

Until next week, good readers.

Blog: You do realize that you only have like one reader, that most of the views are you obsessively checking your stats?

Me: You just have to ruin everything...

Blog: The ice cream is delicious, though. Say goodnight, Elayna.

Me: Goodnight, Elayna.